Stay by Ronan Keating

Everytime I hear this song, emotions run through me uncontrollably. Emotions that I wish do not exist and should not have been there. But foolishly, I still want you to stay. Perhaps I am childish and wilful, perhaps I am naive to believe you, to believe in the human in you, to put myself through all these for nothing. Sometimes I really don't know whether what I see and hear are the truth anymore. But I know what I have to do.

Thats the beauty of the song. It expresses my feelings so vividly and at the end of the song, it reminds me that I should be moving on-- which is the right thing to do. I know what I have to do. I just need a bit more time, a bit more determination.

I am grateful for friends that I have. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for sharing with me your God and how he can be mine too. I hope that I will be able to welcome him into my empty heart.

I am coping with this strange new lonliness. I go out with friends but I just can't help but turn around to look for you. sigh..

Here's something that I heard recently about the language of love: touch, time, service, words, gifts. It sounds cheesy at first but on second thought, it is so true.

Some feel loved when their partner gives them hugs, kisses etc..

Some feel loved when their partner spends quality time with them..

Some feel loved when their partner does things for them, use actions to show their love for them..

Some feel loved when their partner showers them with gifts of love..

So true.. I see people around me that use such language to express their love. For me.. Service and time are my languages of love. I enjoy doing things for the person I love and I enjoy spending time with him. I feel loved when he wants to spend his free time with me and want to do things together.


"I can't help it"
I just cannot stop thinking about this. What do you mean? Why do you act this way? Is this the truth?

I just cannot let it go..

Why don't you let me go..

NUMB

Numb.

Thats how I'm feeling. Or rather not feeling.

I wana share but so what...

I wana quit

I suppose I deserve what I'm getting. Friendless..
I'm losing motivation to work.. What is the joy of the workplace when there I have no more laughter?
Why did things suddenly change for the worse even when I have been trying to do the right thing?

I don't understand.

I'm not being sensitive. It is what it is.
So why can't you see how you have hurt me in not just one way?

I know there's nothing I can do to make amends.

I am already as brave as I can get.. How much more can I take before the white flag?
Yes I am a quitter!

I finally found a song that fully describes how i feel.. So true..



I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall

And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call

It's just another call from home

And you'll get it and be gone

And I'll be crying



And I'll be begging you, baby

Beg you not to leave

But I'll be left here waiting

With my Heart on my sleeve

Oh, for the next time we'll be here

Seems like a million years

And I think I'm dying



What do I have to do to make you see

She can't love you like me?



Why don't you stay

I'm down on my knees

I'm so tired of being lonely

Don't I give you what you need

When she calls you to go

There is one thing you should know

We don't have to live this way

Baby, why don't you stay


You keep telling me, baby

There will come a time

When you will leave her arms

And forever be in mine

But I don't think that's the truth

And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting

It's too much pain to have to bear

To love a man you have to share



Why don't you stay

I'm down on my knees

I'm so tired of being lonely

Don't I give you what you need

When she calls you to go

There is one thing you should know

We don't have to live this way

Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer

But my will is getting stronger

And I think I know just what I have to do

I can't waste another minute

After all that I've put in it

I've given you my best

Why does she get the best of you

So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay

I'm up off my knees

I'm so tired of being lonely

You can't give me what I need

When she begs you not to go

There is one thing you should know

I don't have to live this way

Baby, why don't you stay, yeah

I have decided?

I have decided but..

I have to make the decision that I don't want to make. But this is the decision that will lead to a happy ending for me?

I wish I can see another shooting star.. N this time, it will be different..

All I wan is to be happy..

its been long but...

Its been so long since i blogged.. I think no one is here looking at my blog anymore.. =p But I just need somewhere that I can pour out everything that I am feeling before I go boomz.. Somewhere where I wun be on the verge of tears when I talk abt stuff.

I am thankful that I still have frens who care a lot abt me..

I guess I should be thankful for all the lessons that life throw to me and I'm learning.. growing up.. I will grow up..

I will not be one of your choices.. I do believe that I deserve better..

Its our 999th day together! Feels like its been longer than that though.. =p

Eileen's 21st birthday party!
Defnitely the most interesting birthday party this year! Cos everyone had to wear their school uniforms for it! Hee! Finally I have a chance to wear my uniform again! But it was quite weird to drive in that uniform.. Just feels wrong.. Haha.. I was wondering whether we'll get stopped by the traffic police.. =p Anyways, loads of photos!